Chocobo Hero
by DTitania
Summary: FFIV What happens when people who have no idea how to rule a Kingdom become King and Queen? Here's what really happened after the end of the game...


_Author's notes: Although my newest "serious" FF 4__ fan fiction__ called "The colour of the soul" has already been finished, beta-reading might still take some time and since I'll be studying in another country from April to July, I'm not sure when I'll be able to post the first chapters. __So, in order that no one is forgetting me (or to ruin my reputation – wait did I ever have one in the first place?;) here's a little silly story which deals with another aspect of the game: ___

_Have you ever thought about the fact that at the end of most video games and fairytales people become King and Queen who probably don't have any idea concerning politics and ruling a country? Final Fantasy 2/4 is no exception, so here's the first little story about what really happened after the game. _

_All characters are of course the property of Square._

**Chocobo Hero**

It was the second morning after the crowning ceremony (concerning the _first _morning after the ceremony, there only existed a vague impression which included a hammering headache and Rosa vomiting on the bedroom floor…); well, it was just on that second morning that Cecil realized for the first time that in fact he had _no_ idea how to rule a kingdom.

So, he was relieved to find out that a bearded man was awaiting him and Rosa in the throne room of Baron castle, addressing them with the following words:

"Your Majesty, My Queen, I'm the chancellor of Baron."

"Is this so? How come I've never seen you before?" Rosa frowned.

"Oh, but I was already the chancellor of the late King. I was hiding in one of the store rooms near the secret throne room in the tower." The chancellor explained matter-of-factly. 

_"You have been hiding for nearly one year in one of these jars there?"_ Then again, it didn't really matter to Cecil where the man came from, as long as he knew _how to rule a kingdom_, so he didn't speak out the question.

"So…" The chancellor looked down to some important looking papers. "You are the New Queen and King of Baron. No royal heritage, no experience with ruling. Level of intelligence is normal. Standard consultation program."

"Now wait a moment--" Rosa held up a hand, "Level of intel-"

"Standard consultation program? How often have you actually done this before?" There was a hint of suspicion in Cecil's voice, which was crushed by the thought that it was better _this_ man than _no_ man, though.

The bearded man smiled impatiently. "Look, do you want to rule this Kingdom, or not?"

Cecil thought about it for a moment before he replied, "Err… Well, if you honestly ask me, I'm not so sure any--"

"Cecil!" Rosa nudged him. "What would my mother say? She is proud about me being a Queen!"

Cecil winced, but fell silent.

"Dominant mother of the Queen." The chancellor murmured, making a mental note. "That will look interesting to the public. Ahem, so do you have any questions?"

For a moment there was silence--Cecil realized that he knew so little about the work of a King that it wasn't even sufficient enough to pose a question about it!

Rosa had more accurate conceptions. "Yes, is it right that I can get a personal tailor?"

"Rosa, can you only think of spending money?" Cecil reprimanded her. "Wait--money! How do we finance the castle?"

"Good question!" The chancellor nodded approvingly. "So let's see what would be appropriate for this castle as income and would suit your talents…" He traced with his finger down the list in his hand.****

"What about hard and underpaid labour plus high taxes?"

Cecil did not look too happy. "I don't think that--"

The chancellor interrupted him. "Sorry, wrong list. That was the program for dictators." He shuffled through his papers. "Though high taxes would be--"

"I'm a Paladin. I don't think that this is what is expected of me…"

"Oh… Oh yes, of course. But let's see here in the personal information: 'Knowledge of airships. Former Dark Knight.' How about concentrating on war industry? The last King of Baron did well with that…"

Cecil shook his head. "I don't think that we should start with that again… You see I'm a--"

"Forgive me, I forgot…" The chancellor cut him short once more. "But since you're a Paladin, what about a nice crusade? With lots of loot?"

"And whom should we attack?" Cecil asked, voice filling with disbelief. "And what _exactly _should we be leading this crusade for?"

"Well…" The chancellor paused.  After several minutes it became obvious that he never would come to a conclusion. 

Now Rosa joined into the conversation. "What with Baron's healers and its nursery?"

The chancellor sighed. "I'm sorry, but that does not bring enough money… Unless you're talking about cosmetic surgery, that is."

"Cecil! Don't grin so dirty!" Rosa poked her husband in the ribs.

The chancellor's face was full of worry. "So… Things don't look too good… Let's see what else Baron holds: No fishing grounds, no beautiful landscape--"

"Why is the landscape of any interest?" Cecil wondered.

"Tourists."

"Ah."

"Hmm… I guess we only have two choices." The chancellor finally concluded.

"Which would be?"

The chancellor smiled sweetly. "The easiest way would be to simply loan money from other Kingdoms and do not pay it back."

"Doesn't sound… very honorable." Cecil mused. "And how long exactly can we possibly pull this through?"

The chancellor gave them a meaningful look. "Until the next King gets crowned." The sentence itself wasn't scary; the head-off gesture with which the chancellor was underlying it with was, though.

"What is the second alternative?" Cecil and Rosa asked very quickly in unison.

"Farming."

"That's good!  It will also feed the population!" Rosa clapped her hands. "So what do we cultivate? Wheat? Or fruits? Wait, what about grapes? We could make wine!"

"I fear that all these things do not grow here, Milady. Not even wheat."

"So what farming branch are you speaking off, then?"

"Carrots."

~*~

And thus, Baron became the "Orange Kingdom". Every morning, the King of Baron would take a ride out of town to look at the majestic fields of carrots. He would smile towards the farmers and occasionally bend down and pull a mother-earth-blessed-root out of the emerald green sea of carrot stalks in order to examine in a professional way the seize and the crunchiness of the vegetable.

Then, later, he would, standing on the castle balcony, announce: "Citizens of Baron! It will surely make all of you happy to hear that the carrot harvest this year is of excellent quality!" The people would cheer towards their King and Queen and "Carrots from Baron" would be popular all over the Blue Planet for their excellent taste and the new harvest would always be sold out. The Kingdom would prosper and everyone would have healthy eyes, because carrots were good for the sight. And then, each year there would be a "Carrot festival" with a "Miss Carrot" and the King would do the first dance with her and--

"Cecil, wake up. You've got to appear in time at the "Harvest of the First Carrot." Rosa pulled her husband roughly out of his dreams.

"Itsch five in che morning…" Cecil murmured, not really getting his teeth wide enough apart to call what he was doing 'speaking'.

His wife just shrugged and fell back in the pillows. "It was your idea to harvest _it _when the sun goes up. What did you call it?"

"_'The dawn of a new carrot is a new dawn for Baron, as well'_." Cecil explained to her patiently, suddenly surprisingly awake

"Yes, whatever. Have fun with the carrots!" Rosa yawned and fell asleep again.

Thus, Cecil stumbled towards the farming fields outside of town.

"Why are you the only one here?" he asked the lone farmer who was awaiting him.

The man looked at him, confused. "Well, Your Majesty, there is only one carrot, so one man should be sufficient to harvest it. I can get my family if you wish, though."

"No, no, it's alright. Just pull out the carrot and I'll do my speech--what are you waiting for?"

"ARRGHHH!" The farmer suddenly screamed. 

"What is it? Why are you screaming?"

The man was pointing towards the bushes. "There, there--how horrible! Save the carrots! There's a--a--"

"Rabbit?" Cecil asked helpfully.

"No! A--"

"Hare?"

"NO! A CHOCOBO!"

"OH NO!" Cecil drew his sword. "It is my duty to defend my Caro--Kingdom!" He was about to storm towards the bushes, as a thought brightened his face: Why leave it at carrots? They could also raise chocobos like Tororia and wouldn't even have to import the food for the animals! Baron, the town of the Golden Chocobo, the most majestic animal ever to walk the blue planet. Chocobo feather filled pillows, soap out of chocobo beak and…what were those little pastries called again? 

"Err, Your Majesty, the chocobo is getting away!"

"What? Oh sure!" Cecil tiptoed towards the bushes and threw himself into them, catching indeed a black chocobo around the neck.

"Wark!" The chocobo made and started running. A moment later it started flying, and did not stop until it had reached some forested island where only carrots grew and on which Cecil had to live for approximately four months before the Airship Rescue Team of Baron found him.

Meanwhile, in Baron, the first carrots had been harvested, though until now, no one had wanted to buy them…

"But it's only a matter of time until the name "Carrots of Baron" spreads around the Blue Planet!" Rosa told her husband shortly after he had arrived home, again. "The chancellor told me so before he left the castle two months ago--rather in a hurry; as I remember…" Rosa frowned, but decided not to worry her pretty head with such thoughts any longer. "By the way darling, the cook would like to know if we want fresh carrots for dinner?"

"WARK. Yes, I'd love for one…"

**The End**

Next: Why Edge is _burning_ to have a ball for diplomats…


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